TILDA QUICKTHATCH, BOOK ONE
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEGENDS SIGNED PAPERBACK
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEGENDS SIGNED PAPERBACK
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Monsters? Bounties? Quests? Tilda left them all in the past, choosing a quiet, small-town life in its place. And life is good until a group of teens with zero survival skills shows up and insists she train them to be heroes.
Thanks to the kids' antics, that villain Tilda's been successfully dodging for years just found her cozy, little hiding spot, which means she's officially back in the business of adventuring.
What could possibly go wrong? Spoiler alert: everything.
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ABOUT THE BOOK
ABOUT THE BOOK
Escape to the world of Verandel with a paperback edition of When Life Gives You Legends, signed by Luna herself!
Tilda Quickthatch gave up adventuring years ago and retired to small-town Briarhaven as the local tavern wench. But now the past she's worked so hard to keep hidden has come calling for her.
Its messengers? A group of misfit teens who insist she train them to pick up her mantle... or else. But what starts as simple "roll" play soon turns deadly when their antics attract the attention of a fearsome necromancer who never gave up searching for Tilda. He swoops in with a sinister offer: exchange the powerful artifact she stole nearly a decade ago for her former partner's life.
Now it seems this halfling rogue-turned-barkeep has no choice but to dust off her daggers, gather her pity of a party, and set out on her highest stake quest yet.
What could possibly go wrong? What could possibly go right?!
When Life Gives You Legends is a hilariously heart-pounding fantasy where being a hero means breaking a few stereotypes—and possibly a tavern chair or two. If you enjoy witty banter, magical mayhem, and rooting for the underdog, then you’ll love Luna Ryder’s outrageous adventure.
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SNEAK PEEK
SNEAK PEEK
"Rurik! Look out!" I shouted, somersaulting out from beneath the table and rolling head first into the mindless lizard brigade.
They poked at me with their spears, which thankfully weren't very sharp. Still hurt though.
I unfurled myself from the tiny ball I’d formed and yanked at the first thing I could reach. A loincloth.
"Ahhh, Naked!" the red lizard creature screeched and moved to cover his privates with his spear hand.
I yanked the wooden shaft and swung, sending him crashing into his fellow law enforcers. Finally, I was fighting someone my size. And it felt good. Real good.
"Naked?" another kobold echoed. I turned in the direction of the cry and flung the stolen loincloth at it.
"Blind! Blind!" it shrieked and scratched at its head while trying to dislodge the fabric. Oh sweet divinity, this was nice.
With kobolds, you never had to guess if your blow had landed, because they always conveniently shouted the play by play. I liked that about them.
I liked this. Missed it even.
In truth, I hadn't had a good brawl in far too long.
The red sea of scales split, surging past me in pursuit of Rurik who was standing with his back pressed to the far wall. He had both hands out before him and was staring at his palms intently while he muttered to himself.
Kobolds were easy opponents, but could still do some very real damage. Not like the locusts we'd faced in farmer Dewglen's cabbage patch and not like the rigged battle against Maltherius's undead servant. These little lizard-like guys didn't often win fights, but when they did, it came down to a numbers game.
Mother kobolds laid clutches of nearly one-hundred eggs at a go several times per year. To keep their population from overwhelming the continent, the powers that be required kobolds to conscript for five full years upon reaching adulthood. The ones that survived their service were given full rights and a place of honor in society.
But very few ever made it.
Whatever. They'd started this.
WHAT READERS ARE SAYING
WHAT READERS ARE SAYING
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"Highly recommend if you're into fantasy with heart, humor, and a touch of chaos!" - Ella B.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"When Life Gives You Legends keeps you enthralled from page one. Luna Ryder has brought DND to paperback an dprovide a wholesome world with magic, villains, a prissy centaur, a broody elf teenager, a wisecrack halfling thief, and an orc trying to break the family mold." - Kyle R.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"When Live Gives You Legends keeps you hooked from beginning to end and craving more in the best way...I particularly loved the writing style of this book because it's so fun. Coziness, adventure, laughs, it's got it all. Do yourself a favor and buy this book!" - Amazon Customer
⭐⭐⭐⭐
"If Legends and Lattes was your jam, and you'd love something with those vibes but more actual adventuring on the page, give When Life Gives You Legends a read." - Hally
⭐⭐⭐⭐
"Ryder knows how to craft characters that leap right out of a D&D campaign, with each one bringing their on quirks and strengths to the party." - Tristin, MythicalReadsReviewer
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